When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing a personal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way. Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.
Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you. Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.
Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one’s eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter. In letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.
Letting Yourself Be Seen: Being Witnessed
According to Gallagher and Ventura, the most important words of personal responsibility are as follows:
- The 10 most important words:
I won't wait for others to take the first step. - The 9 most important words:
If it is to be, it's up to me. - The 8 most important words:
If not me, who? If not now, when? - The 7 most important words:
Let me take a shot at it. - The 6 most important words:
I will not pass the buck. - The 5 most important words:
You can count on me. - The 4 most important words:
It IS my job! - The 3 most important words:
Just do it! - The 2 most important words:
I will. - The most important word:
Me
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
The first day of school our professor introduced
himself and challenged us to get to know
someone we didn't already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand
touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a
that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome.
My name is Rose.
I'm eighty-seven years old.
Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and enthusiastically responded,
and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?"
I asked.
She jokingly replied,
"I'm here to meet a rich husband,
get married, and have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked.
I was curious what may have motivated her
to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having
Every day for the next three months
we would leave class together and talk nonstop.
I was always mesmerized listening
to this "time machine" as she shared
her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year,
and she easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled
in the attention bestowed upon her
She was living it up.
At! the end of the semester we invited Rose
to speak at our football banquet.
I'll never forget what she taught us.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech,
she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed
she leaned into the microphone
and this whiskey is killing me! !
I'll never get my speech back in order
so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat
"We do not stop playing because we are old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young,
being happy, and achieving success.
You have to laugh and find humor every day.
When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around
who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between
growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed
for one full year and don't do one productive
thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed
for a year and never do anything
I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older.
That doesn't take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets
but rather for things we did not do.
The only people who fear death
are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech
"The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics
Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students
attended her funeral in tribute
to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this,
please send this peaceful word of advice
they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along
in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER,
We make a Living by what we get,
We make a Life by what we give.
God promises a safe landing,
He, will bring you through it.
Pass this message to all except you and me.
then you refuse to bless someone else.
"Good friends are like stars...
but you know they are always there."
Balance Sheet of Life
Life cycle! Great Balance sheet!
BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE
Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities.
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets.
Heart is our Current Asset.
Soul is our Fixed Asset.
Brain is our Fixed Deposit.
Thinking is our Current Account.
Achievements are our Capital.
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade.
Friends are our General Reserves.
Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill.
Love is our Dividend.
Children are our Bonus Issues..
Education is Brands / Patents.
Knowledge is our Investment.
Experience is our Premium Account.
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.
Some very Good and Very bad things
101 Ways To Motivate, Energize And Inspire Your Team
Here is a long list of effective and simple incentives for your team.
At the conclusion of an incentive program, it is important to assess how successful it was. Did you get the results you wanted? One of the best ways to judge the program’s effectiveness, besides considering your own observations, is to get feedback from the reps and administrators involved. You want to be sure that your directions were communicated clearly and at the right intervals, that the rewards were appealing and sparked interest and drive, that your team members felt supported and prepared to take on the challenges being presented, that the program boosted morale, team effort, energy and creativity,etc.
What were the weaknesses, if any? Did the program meet or fall short of participants’ expectations? And of course, you must consider the bottom line impact on sales. Another important thing that cannot be overlooked is whether there may have been any outside influence that you did not have any control over. For example, has the industry experienced an increase in pricing? Was the product or service new, or has there been longstanding consumer awareness and recognition of it? Have there been any fluctuations in the company’s marketing campaigns? All of these questions can basically be broken down into different areas, such as goals, budget or administration. In each area, identify what worked and what didn’t so you have concrete information to help you develop your next incentive program.
I have outlined a list of different activities and they have been categorized for your convenience.
Group Building
1. Movie day—bring popcorn
2. Water-skiing/Lake trip
3. Join the city softball team
4. Go watch a professional team sport
5. Miniature golf
6. Volunteer opportunities
7. Cold-calling contest
8. Work-at-home week
9. Have the CEO address the sales staff
10. Racecar contest
11. Bring in a comedian for sales training
12. Fun, harmless practical jokes
13. Joke of the day to start a meeting
14. Bring in take-out for reps staying late
15. Laser tag
16. Ropes course
17. Bowling
18. Free lunch for the first sale of the day
19. VM broadcast about someone’s personal success
20. Company Olympics
Company Socials
21. Luau
22. Fiesta
23. Ice cream social
24. Barbeque
25. Pizza party
26. Customer appreciation day
27. Four-day weekend
28. Bring in donuts
29. Company newsletter about the success of the week
30. Dress up like Santa and hand out gifts
31. Thanksgiving or other holiday party
Esteem Building/Awards
32. Best phone demeanor
33. Best dresser
34. Most creative close
35. Best sales week
36. Most improved
37. Best team player
38. Most cold calls
39. Most new clients
40. Best customer service
41. Top attitude
42. Special note or email
43. Telegram
44. FedEx special note
45. Thank-you card
46. Personal pat on back
47. Lead part of a training meeting
48. Personal goal-setting meeting
49. Suggestion box
50. Personal call from CEO
Simple compliments like…
51. You’re incredible.
52. You’re a good…
53. I believe in you.
54. Great job!
55. You made my day.
56. Hug.
57. Thank you for …
58. I’m proud of you.
59. Perfect.
60. You’re awesome!
61. Well Done.
62. Great!
63. Excellent!
64. I knew you could do it.
65. I trust you.
66. Spectacular!
67. Outstanding!
68. I’m your biggest fan.
Friendly gestures like…
69. Smile
70. Warm handshake
71. Pat on the back
Individual Building
72. Daily contact with praise
73. Let them off to take their children to school on the first day
74. Free calls on company cell phones
75. Motivational plaque
76. Health club membership
77. Lotto wheel
78. Drive CEO’s car for the week
79. Shirt/Hat with logo
80. Special parking spot
81. Photo with CEO
82. Remodel office
83. Disneyland trip
84. Porsche for weekend
Personal Development
85. Books
- As a Man Thinketh
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
- Swim With the Sharks
- How to Win Friends and Influence People
- Maximum Influence
- The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
- Think and Grow Rich
- Psycho-Cybernetics
- The Magic of Thinking Big
- Learned Optimism
86. Videos
Remember the Titans
Miracle
Rocky
Chariots of Fire
Apollo 13
Field of Dreams
Mr. Holland’s Opus
Seabiscuit
The Right Stuff
The Rookie
87. Audios
- The Secrets to Manifesting Your Destiny
- Lead the Field
- Unleash the Power Within
- The Psychology of Selling
- Magnetic Persuasion
- Present with Power
- The Strangest Secret
- Exponential Success
- The Science of Personal Achievement
- The Psychology of Winning
88. Travel Incentives
- Hawaii
- Upgrade to first class
- Local hotel with dinner
- Limo to airport
- Las Vegas
- Bermuda
- Cancun
- Caribbean cruise
- Free miles to fly
- Tahiti
- Hotel suite upgrade
- Australia
Monetary Rewards
89. Large-screen TV
90. Computer
91. DVD player
92. $100 bill
93. Lottery tickets
94. Restaurant gift certificates
95. Cashews
96. Take the rep’s family to dinner
97. Department store gift certificate
98. Movie rental gift certificate
99. Costco certificate
100. Bookstore gift certificate
101. New suit
Dream
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." Would you agree with the statement that a dream is born from an idea-a simple idea conceived in the mind?
Back in the 19th century two brothers had an idea which eventually became their passionate and consuming dream. Their relentless pursuit of that dream was rewarded with an accomplishment that changed world travel.
On Friday December 17, 1903 at 10:35 AM, the Wright brothers (Wilbur and Orville) achieved their dream. They flew "the world's first power-driven, heavier-than- air machine in which man made free, controlled, and sustained flight." This memorable feat took place at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on a cold windy morning.
The dream started with an idea that was planted in their minds by a toy given to them by their father. In the words of the boys, "Late in the autumn of 1878, our father came into the house one evening with some object partly concealed in his hands, and before we could see what it was, he tossed it into the air. Instead of falling to the floor, as we expected, it flew across the room till it struck the ceiling, where it fluttered awhile, and finally sank to the floor." This simple toy made of bamboo, cork and stretched rubber bands, fascinated the Wright brothers and sparked their life long interest in human flight.
The Wright brothers were great thinkers. They enjoyed learning new things. Initially, they recycled broken parts, built a printing press and opened their own printing office. Their interest moved to bicycles and in 1893, they opened the Wright Cycle Company where they sold and repaired bicycles. But Wilbur (the older brother) had his mind set on something more exciting. He decided to seriously pursue flying.
The brothers spent many hours researching, testing their machines and making improvements after unsuccessful attempts at human flight. What started out as a hobby soon became a passion. With determination and patience they realized their dream in 1903.
The next time you hear or see an airplane or travel on one, remember where it all started. A simply idea conceived in the minds of two young men who did not finish high school. Believe it or not, they did not have a University degree in Aeronautical Engineering, Mathematics, Physics or any other subject.
They were not scientists in the true sense of the word. In fact, many of their peers who did not witness their accomplishment, had trouble believing that two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio did what they claimed.
What idea or ideas are YOU working on? Have you said you can't do this or that because you are not a scientist? Have you limited yourself by saying you are not smart enough? Or have you joined the majority in saying that everything has already been invented or discovered?
Since the introduction of the first generation of personal computers in 1981, we are able to do many things more efficiently. With a super computer between your ears and the personal computer at your finger tips, your dream can be achieved. First, give birth to that dream with an idea. A simple idea that ANYONE of us can conceive!
A-B-C Method of Managing Attitudes
As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his clumsiness. Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler simply apologized and smiled. The angry man continued to berate the skycap, until he finally headed off to catch his plane. Even then the baggage handler remained calm and passively smiled.
The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the skycap's professionalism and control. "I have never seen such restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when somebody is attacking you so viciously?"
"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to Denver, but his bags are going to Detroit."
That is certainly ONE way of managing attitudes, but here is a more constructive approach.
Have you heard of the A-B-C method of managing your attitude? It's simple and effective.
"A" stands for the "Activating Event." Let's say you get stuck in traffic. The traffic jam is the activating event.
"B" stands for your "Belief System." You believe that traffic is only getting worse and you'll have more and more days like this ahead.
"C" stands for the "Consequence of the Event." You become angry. You want to honk your horn. Your stomach is tied in knots and you bang the dashboard with your fist.
The problem is...most people jump directly from "A" to "C." They get stuck in traffic and become angry. They think the traffic jam made them upset. They don't realize that they didn't HAVE to get angry. They skipped an important step!
Let's try it again:
"A" - you get stuck in traffic.
"B" - you believe that you were given some unexpected and extra time to spend in solitude, to listen to a great tape or to plan your day.
"C" - the consequence is that you feel gratitude for the gift of time.
I have a friend who is fond of saying, "A traffic jam has no power to make us angry. It just stops our car." He is aware that between the activating event and the consequence is something that we control: our beliefs about what is happening.
The next time you have a problem -- at home or at work, big or small -- decide to manage your attitude toward it. Practice the A-B-C method. You probably can't change "A," the activating event. But try changing "B," your beliefs about the problem. When you change your beliefs, you also change "C," the consequences of the situation.
It's as simple as A-B-C. Manage your beliefs, and you'll manage to be a lot happier!
The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Nothing Is Insurmountable
When our next best course of action seems unclear, any dilemmas we face can appear insurmountable. Yet there is nothing we cannot overcome with time, persistence, focused thought, help, and faith. Whatever the situation or problem, there is always a solution. And if you remember to look within, even as you search around you for the “right” course of action, you will be able to center yourself, clear your mind, and see that nothing has to be impossible.
The first step in overcoming any obstacle is to believe that it can be overcome. Doing so will give you the strength and courage to move through any crisis. The second step is to make a resolution that you can prevail over any chaos. Enlist your support network of family and friends if necessary. The more minds there are to consider a problem, the more solutions can be found. Don’t discount ideas just because they seem impractical or “unrealistic,” and don’t keep searching for the “best” alternative. Often there is no “best” choice, there is only a choice to make so we can begin moving beyond whatever is obstructing our path. At the very least, making a choice, even if isn’t the ideal one, can give you a sense of peace before you have to figure out what your next course of action will be.
If you feel overwhelmed by the scope of your troubles, you may want to think of other people who have turned adversity into triumph. We often gain a fresh perspective when we remember others who have overcome larger obstacles. It can be inspiring to hear of their victories, helping us remember that there is always light at the end of every tunnel. It is during our darkest hours that we sometimes need to remind ourselves that we don’t have to feel helpless. You have within and around you the resources to find a solution to any problem. And remember that if a solution or choice you make doesn’t work, you are always free to try another. Believe that you can get through anything, and you will always prevail.
Top Six Reasons To Forgive
No one can change the past, but you do have the power to upgrade how you feel about it, and that makes all the difference. You can take your power back from all those painful memories, and make peace with your past. Forgiveness heals the guilt and the hurt, and does this quietly, privately, and thoroughly. Forgiveness does not mean that you let anyone off the hook, it means that your present happiness is more important than your past suffering. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful things done to you, it means that you reclaim your right to run your own life.
Right now those hurtful things are running your life, and how is that working for you? The people who hurt you may have ruined your yesterdays, but only you are in charge of your tomorrows. And if you feel guilt over people that you have hurt, forgiving yourself will heal you and allow you to move forward with a happier attitude and a healthier body.
So here are the top six reasons to forgive.
1 You will feel better and laugh more. Resolving all that negative spin from your past allows you to enjoy yourself and have the daily fun you really want. Your buttons will stop being pushed because they will be gone. You see, guilt and hatred resolve nothing, they just sustain the negativity that continues to stop you from reaching your personal and professional goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to all those unhappy yesterdays, and this returns your personal energy to your present life, and you get more done. Forgiveness is excellent for improved prosperity and success in every area of your life.
2 You will be healthier. Carrying negativity appears to cause many physical ills. The body and the mind are the same thing. Just as ice and steam are still basically water, your body and your mind are simply different manifestations of your spirit. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Forgiveness heals.
3 People will like you better.You will be a more enjoyable person to be around, and will attract more positive people to your life. Humans are imperfect, and we all make mistakes. One trait of positive people is that they take life less personally, and readily forgive mistakes as they happen. On the other hand, perfectionists are often miserable people, having standards way too high to be reached. Would you settle for mere excellence? Then do so, and your relations with others will improve immediately. Perfectionists are all about judgement, whereas happy people are all about smiles. Sure, there are fights worth fighting, but if you live is one long series of fights with other people, the exhaustion must be terrible for you. Forgive and life improves. It really is that simple.
4 You will stop the constant suffering. Forgive others exactly because what happened was not your fault. Ask yourself: What was done to me? How long ago did all that happen? Are those hurtful people still in my life? Why should I keep suffering for what someone else did? Since it was not my fault, why am I still paying for it? Of course you have suffered way too long and way too much already. And those hurtful people have probably been gone from your life for years. So let the suffering stop right now. Forgive them.
And it may be that complete, one hundred percent may not be possible for you at first, and that is fine. Not to worry, because you can start with a small percentage of forgiveness and work up. How about forgiving them ten percent? Twenty? Eighty? Even five percent forgiveness is an excellent step in the right direction. The more you forgive, the better you will feel.
5 You have punished yourself long enough. Self forgiveness stops the overwhelming feelings of guilt that obstruct your happiness. Ask yourself: What was my crime? How long ago did that happen? Am I still doing stuff like that? If I had been imprisoned for it, would I be out by now? You have likely already punished yourself way too much, and it is time to grant yourself a full pardon. Forgive does not mean forget, it means accepting responsibility, and moving on with your life in positive ways, having learned your lessons. You can stop spinning over how you used to be and get on with creating the good life you have always deserved. So forgive yourself. Today. Right now. Since you cannot undo what you did, you must do the next best thing, and that is to face what happened, and then let the blame go.
6 No one needs to know. Forgiveness happens privately, between you and God, or between you and your higher self. You do not need to call anyone up or write any letters. Forgiveness is an internal healing, and it is all about you. Other people will have to forgive themselves for what they did. Your concern is you. You evolve all the time anyway, so why not evolve for the better?
And here is how do forgiveness. As you remember past events and the people involved, feel forgiveness flow from your heart out to them and back to yourself. Visualize what happened and who was there, forgiving everything and everyone involved. If you are not particularly visual, that is not a problem at all, since you can just sense and feel what happened, and process from there. Sensing and feeling work just as well as visualizing.
If anger arises when you think of some people, then in the privacy of your own thoughts, confront them. Tell them how you feel about what happened, and spend all of that anger you feel toward them. Tell them all the things you would never say to their face, but need to express. And then forgive them.
You may need to feel forgiven by your higher power. Please know that God forgives you the first time you ask, so only ask once. If you have to ask twice, then it is you who is not forgiving you. Forgive yourself fully knowing that God never needs to be asked twice.
Don't Hunt IDEAS - Be an Idea Magnet
Ideas Get Things Going
The question that professional writers are asked most is: Where do you get your ideas? The answer they always give is Ideas are everywhere.
It is true that ideas are everywhere, but . . . that is not much consolation when you look everywhere, and you seem to find nothing.
Yet ideas are the stuff from which quality content is crafted, and quality content is what builds relevance. Relevance draws people to read us, to add to the conversation, and to share our ideas with others. Quality content packed with relevance also leads search engines to show us off in their rankings. So solid ideas are critical to blogs, websites, and all online businesses.
Ideas are what get the whole process going. But...
Sometimes the very idea of getting an idea can be intimidating.
Be an Idea Magnet
Looking for ideas can be a lot like looking for a white shirt in the Mall of America. If you do not have anything to narrow your search the task can be overwhelming. Too many kinds of white shirts to choose from and soon they all seem to have the same value–none at all. Ideas work in much the same way as that. Without some sort of criteria to sort them you can look all day and not find a single one.
Ideas really are everywhere. The art is in training your mind to see the ideas and pull them in before your thoughts pass by them–to make your mind into an idea magnet of sorts.
Many Ideas At Once
Sometimes I am asked to write a book of ideas for teaching some skill set or group of strategies. You might be surprised to find out how I go about such tasks. I identify pages of ideas before I start writing. One idea at a time is just too much work and too painful for me. I approach the task as I approach-doing dishes. Wash all of the dishes first. Then dry them all.
Attracting Writeable Ideas
When I write for my blogs, I figure if I am going to find one idea, I might as well find many. That way I am set for a while. With a pile of ideas, I can switch my brain over to concentrate on the writing and editing–that is work enough for me.
Whether you are looking for one idea or many, or trying to find a spin on a topic that is too big to write about, the process for getting to a solid idea is basically same.
Here is how to get your brain to open up to 4-5 ideas at once.
1. Gather resources with a yes or no look. (60-90 minutes max)
- Limit research time–the more ideas the less time spent per idea.
- Use a variety of resources online, magazines, newspapers, and books.
- Check only headlines and take only a quick look.
- If what you see does not grab you. Move on.
- If it catches your interest, print it or tag it to come back to.
It is important not to read at this point. Just let the headlines soak in. The variety of resources offers a visual change that helps to keep your mind fresh and tends to bring in a wider variety of points of view. You might find yourself seeing connections between one piece and another. That is good.
2. Read with a highlighter, a pencil, and a pad of paper. (30-60 minutes)
- Highlight keywords.
- Jot key points in the margin using 3-4 words you might say if you were restating the point to a friend.
- If you get article ideas, mark them on the piece that inspired them.
- When you notice connections between pieces you’ve chosen write them on the pad of paper.
Do these things quickly to let your mind capture and collect information without filtering it. You will start to make further connections to your personal experiences. Note those on the writing pad too. What you are doing is guided brainstorming. (I made that term up.) Feel free to throw out any resources you know just will not work.
3. Sort your resources into like piles by topic. (5-15 minutes)
- Give each pile a working title.
- Add to each pile a bulleted list of events, thoughts, or leanings from your experience that fit with that idea.
- Choose the idea that you find most useful to your readers and put the rest in a folder.
Also do this quickly as a “brain dumping” exercise. Write what comes to mind and keep going until you have a list–however long or short—for each pile you made. Now you have some solid ideas. Keep them all, even the ones that seem thin or uninteresting. After a day or so you might find uses for those that you don’t like right now.
The Benefits of Working Out Once a Week
This workout shows results immediately. In just that much time, I have ideas I can write about. I do this “workout” about once a week when I am not under pressure to write something. The workout takes away the rush and tumble of having to push through my feeds with deadlines hanging over me. Even when I want to cover breaking news. I have ideas ready to go if I want to post a quick article before I start researching.
The relief that comes from knowing I have many ideas in the hopper makes writing exponentially easier. When I sit down to write, I can concentrate on what I am writing about. I know it is a fully vetted idea that will work, rather than one I have to hope will work out. I can use the time I might have spent looking for an idea and use it to check my work.
Writing is more fun when your brain is free of that voice that keeps saying, “I need to get this done. I need to get this done. My readers are waiting for me.”
A brain is a writer’s instrument in the same way as a voice is a singer’s instrument. Why should not writers train just as vocalists do?
Power writing is a very cool thing.
Try it and let me know how it goes. I am here to help any way that I might.
After all, I am the nice one. :)