How to win and influence People: December 2007

our universe has laws that apply equally to all of us. if we were to fall off a building along with someone like industrialist sunil bharti mittal, we'd hit the ground just as mittal would. like the law of gravity, there are other laws that apply equally to all of us. in her book the secret, rhonda byrne explains this. she talks of the law of attraction and says that what you think, you will achieve.
thoughts are powerful. if you think positively, life will be happier, but if you think negatively, you will be surrounded by negativity. successful men have positive thoughts and therefore, they lead powerful, happy and successful lives. our feelings are a result of what we are thinking. we feel low when our thoughts are depressing. so when we are depressed, only happy thoughts can help us cheer up.
many of us don't take into account all the good in our lives. we don't open our minds to the possibility that what's happening is actually wonderful. this way, we don't benefit from the daily experiences that benefit us. we exaggerate and add unnecessary importance to our weaknesses and others' strengths. this causes an inferiority complex and leads to more negativity.
in his seminars, american motivational speaker zig ziglar narrates this story about a man who went fishing on the river bank. whenever he caught a big fish, he'd release it back into the river, but when he caught a smaller fish, he would keep it in his basket. a person nearby watched him repeat this a few times. intrigued, he approached the fisherman and asked him why he was releasing the big fish and keeping the small ones. the fisherman replied: "i only have a small frying pan at home, so i'm keeping the fish that i can fry in the pan." this story teaches us a lesson: in order to think big and attract more positivity into our lives, we need to change the way we look at things.
hollywood films based on true stories can be very motivating and can empower our minds. for example, miracle, starring kurt russell, is a film that chronicles the victory of the us ice hockey team over the russians in the 1980 olympics. coach carter - starring samuel l jackson is a true story of how a coach turns a high school basketball team around, leading them to victory. in pursuit of happyness, starring will smith is the true story of a man, chris gardener, who manages to get successful even though the odds are against him. chris gardener's autobiography, also titled in pursuit of happyness, is an inspirational book.
think about all the good things that happen to you every day and see yourself as an amazing person who has a unique set of abilities. focus on your strengths and make the most of them. empower yourself with positive and powerful thoughts.

Rise above criticism

Former U.S. President John F. Kennedy received endless advice and criticism from the media concerning how he should run the country. Much of it he took good-naturedly. In fact, he often used a favorite story in response to the media’s comments about how they thought he could do a better job.

He told about a legendary baseball player who always played flawlessly. He consistently hit when at bat and was never thrown out at first. When on base he never failed to score. As a fielder, he never dropped a ball and he threw with unerring accuracy. He ran swiftly and played gracefully.

In fact, he would have been one of the all-time greats except for one thing–no one could ever persuade him to put down his beer and hot-dog and come out of the press box to play!

Most of us can empathize, for we all have people in our lives who criticize and second-guess. They are quick to point out flaws and quicker yet to offer advice.

When it comes to receiving criticism, I believe it helps to remember first that not all criticism is invalid. Wisdom listens for the kernel of truth and saves it for future growth. But when criticism seems unfair, I believe it helps to remember the hawk. When attacked by crows, it does not counterattack. Instead, the hawk soars higher and higher in ever- widening circles until the pests leave it alone.

When there is nothing to learn from criticism, can you rise above it and soar?

Steve Goodier

LIFE IS A THEATER ~

Life is a theater - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciateyou and the gift that lies within you?

The more you seek God and the things of God -- the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God-- the more you seek things honorable -- the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.

Problem Solving Skills

Many problem solving skills can make you a more effective and creative problem solver. But knowing how to use visualization and direct your attention are two of the best. Take a look at the following examples of how to use these skills, and how to develop them further.

Visualization As A Problem Solving Skill

We can't all visualize things easily. Many of us do our mental work more with words than images. However, anyone can get better at visualization with a little practice. The payoff? More creative and sometimes quicker solutions to problems of all sorts.

For example, suppose you operate a gas station. You visualize a customer coming into your lot and pulling up to the pump. You get inside the customer's head and try to see things as he or she does.

But in your mind, your nice vision of him pulling up to get gas is intruded on by another car that is in his way. Perhaps you need more gas pumps, or a better design for incoming traffic flow? Could that help increase sales? Perhaps.

You want to visualize as clearly as you can for maximum effectiveness. Clarity and detail lets your unconscious mind play with the images. Then it can suggest solutions, or point out things you haven't yet noticed consciously. There's always much thinking going on below consciousness, and this is a way to access that.

Another example: Suppose you live in a too-tiny crowded apartment. You put your problem solving skills to work by visualizing your apartment, and seeing yourself being hemmed in by the stuff there. You play with the image, and imagine the apartment empty. It doesn't seem so tiny. You get the idea that owning fewer things could be a partial solution. More efficient storage in the closets might also open up some space in the room(s).

At some point in your visualization you feel too enclosed in your crowded apartment, and you see yourself leaving, perhaps going up to the flat roof. This starts you thinking about what it means to "live" in an apartment. Just use it for eating and sleeping, and carry a few essentials with you always, and you can "live" in the small space only part-time, while spending more time in open spaces, whether roofs, parks, or cafes.

Visualization is also a way of directing of your attention, and knowing how to direct your attention is another powerful problem solving skill.

Directing Attention As A Problem Solving Skill

I think people are essentially decent to each other. But when I pointed this out to a friend, he argued that people are essentially rude. Who is correct? Perhaps "decent" and "rude" can't be defined with enough preciseness to study the issue scientifically, but the more important question is why we differ so much in our views.

The answer to this is simple. I look around for examples of decency, and so I find them - and probably miss seeing many examples of rude behavior. My friend habitually directs his attention to people's rudeness, and is certainly not noticing many of the real examples of decent people. How we direct our attention dramatically affects what we see and believe.

To use this as one of your problem solving skills, you just need to direct your attention to possible solutions. Let's look at a simple problem:

backpacker's tents get too hot in the sun. A tent designer working on this problem might start to think about cooling, and look for examples of it. He's directing his attention, so his unconscious mind will look for anything inside his mind or outside that is relevant.

He sees an air conditioning unit, but the machinery isn't practical for carrying around. He starts getting cool as he walks in the shade, and becomes aware of this because his attention is directed to notice anything like this. He realizes that a tent pitched in the shade will be cooler. It isn't a new idea, and not always practical, but then he wonders if a lightweight tarp would shade the tent as well as a tree.

His drink spills on his arm and he notices the evaporative cooling effect. It reminds him of something he once read in a book. Before refrigeration people put food in a box covered with a wet cloth, and the evaporation kept the interior of the box as much as fifteen degrees cooler than the outside air. The same process might work if a thin cloth were draped over a tent and kept wet. A new product?

We've all had experiences of seeing more of whatever we direct our attention to. In fact, start looking for red cars, and you'll suddenly realize there are more than you thought. But to use this to solve problems, be careful to direct your attention to possible solutions - not more problems. For example, focusing on the reasons you can't start a business would only make matters worse. It would be better to start looking at all the ways in which others have started businesses.

Fortunately, it is simple to develop these problem solving skills. Using visualization and directing one's attention are skills you already have. You need only use them repeatedly to develop them further.

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (1-10)

Sleep less. This is one of the best investments you can make to make your life more productive and rewarding. Most people do not need more than 6 hours to maintain an excellent state of health. Try getting up one hour earlier for 3-4 weeks and it will develop into a powerful habit. Remember, it is the quality not the quantity of sleep that is important. And just imagine having an extra 30 hours a month to spend on the things that are important to you.

Set aside one hour every morning for personal development matters. Meditate, visualize your day, read inspirational texts to set the tone of your day, listen to motivational tapes or read great literature. Take this quiet period to vitalize and energize your spirit for the productive day ahead. Watch the sun rise once a week or be with nature. Starting the day off well is a powerful strategy for self-renewal and personal effectiveness.

Do not allow those things that matter the most in your life be at the mercy of activities that matter the least. Every day, take the time to ask yourself the question "is this the best use of my time and energy?" Time management is life management so guard your time with great care.

Remember that your expectations create your reality and life pretty much sends you what you think and expect.

Always answer the phone with enthusiasm in your voice and show your appreciation for the caller. Good phone manners are essential. To convey authority on the line, stand up. This will instill further confidence in your voice.

Throughout the day we all get inspiration and excellent ideas. Capture them. Keep a set of cards (the size of business cards; available at most stationary stores) in your wallet along with a pencil to jot down these insights. When you get home, put the ideas in a central place such as a coil notepad and review them from time to time. As noted by Oliver Wendell Holmes: "Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."

Set aside every Sunday evening for yourself and be strongly disciplined with this habit. Use this period to plan your week, visualize your encounters and what you want to achieve, to read new materials and inspirational books, to listen to soft soothing music and to simply relax. This habit will serve as your anchor to keep you focused, motivated and effective throughout the coming week.

Always remember the key principle that the quality of your life is the quality of your communication. This means the way you communicate with others and, more importantly, the way you communicate with yourself. What you focus on is what you get. If you look for the positive this is what you get. This is a fundamental law of Nature.

Stay on purpose, not on outcome. In other words, do the task because it is what you love to do or because it will help someone or is a valuable exercise. Don't do it for the money or the recognition. Those will come naturally. This is the way of the world.

Laugh for five minutes in the mirror each morning. Steve Martin does. Laughter activates many beneficial chemicals within the body that place us into a very joyous state. Laughter also returns the body to a state of balance. Laughter therapy has been regularly used to heal persons with varied ailments and is a wonderful tonic for life's ills. While the average 4 year old laughs 500 times a day, the average adult is lucky to laugh 15 times a day. Revitalize the habit of laughter, it will put far more living into your life.

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (11-20)

Light a candle beside you when you are reading in the evening. It is most relaxing and creates a wonderful, soothing atmosphere. Make your home an oasis from the frenzied world outside. Fill it with great music, great books and great friends.

To enhance your concentration and powers of focus, count your steps when you walk. This is a particularly strong technique. Take six steps while taking a long inhale, hold your breath for another six steps, and then exhale for six steps. If six steps is too long for the breaths, do whatever you feel comfortable with. You will feel very alert, refreshed, internally quiet and centered after this exercise. So many people allow their minds to be filled with mental chatter. All peak performers appreciate the power of a quiet, clear mind which will concentrate steadily on all important tasks.

Learn to meditate effectively. The mind is naturally a very noisy machine which wants to move from one subject to another like an unchained monkey. One must learn to restrain and discipline it if one is to achieve anything of substance and to be peaceful. Meditation for twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes in the evening will certainly provide you with exceptional results if regularly practiced for six months. Learned sages of the East have been advancing the many benefits of meditation for over 5000 years.

Learn to be still. The average person doesn't spend even 30 minutes a month in total silence and tranquility. Develop the skill of sitting quietly, enjoying the powerful silence for at least ten minutes a day. Simply think about what is important to you in your life. Reflect on your mission. Silence indeed is golden. As the Zen master once said, it is the space between the bars that holds the cage.

Enhance your will-power; it is likely one of the best training programs you can invest in. All elite performers have high levels of self-discipline. Here are some ideas to strengthen your will and become a stronger person:
a) Do not let your mind float like a piece of paper in the wind. Work hard to keep it focused at all times. When doing a task, think of nothing else. When walking to work, count the steps that it takes to get all the way to the office. This is not easy but your mind will soon understand that you hold its reins and not vice versa. Your mind must eventually become as still as a candle flame in a corner where there is no draft.
b) Your will is like a muscle. You must first exercise it and then push before it gets stronger. This necessarily involves short term pain but be assured that the improvements will come and will touch your character in a most positive way. When you are hungry, wait another hour before your meal. When you are laboring over a difficult task and your mind is prompting you to pick up the latest magazine for a break or to get up and go talk to a friend, curb the impulse. Soon you will be able to sit for hours in a precisely concentrated state. Sir Isaac Newton, one of the greatest classical physicists the world has produced, once said: "if I have done the public any service, it is due to patient thought." Newton had a remarkable ability to sit quietly and think without interruption for very long periods of time. If he can develop this so can you.
c) You can also build your will-power by restraint in your conduct with others. Speak less (use the 60/40 Rule = listen 60% of the time and speak a mere 40%, if that). This will not only make you more popular but you will learn much wisdom as everyone we meet, every day has something to teach us. Also restrain the urge to gossip or to condemn someone who you feel has made a mistake. Stop complaining and develop a cheerful, vital and strong personality. You will greatly influence others.
d) When a negative thought comes to your mind, immediately replace it with one that is positive. Positive always dominates over the negative and your mind has to be conditioned to think only the best thoughts. Negative thinking is a conditioned process whereby the negative patterns are established over and over. Rid yourself of any limitations and become a powerful positive thinker.

Make an effort to be humorous throughout the day. Not only is it beneficial from a physical viewpoint but it diffuses tension in difficult circumstances and creates an excellent atmosphere wherever you are. It was recently reported that members of the Tauripan tribe of South America have a ritual where they awake in the middle of the night to tell each other jokes. Even tribesmen in the deepest sleep wake to enjoy the laugh and then return to their state of slumber in seconds. The shortest distance between two human beings is laughter.

Become a highly disciplined time manager. There are roughly 168 hours in a week. This surely allows plenty of time for achievement of the many goals we desire to accomplish. Be ruthless with your time. Set aside a few minutes each morning to plan your day. Plan around your priorities and focus on not only those tasks which are immediate but not important (i.e., many telephone calls) but especially on those which are important but not urgent, for these allow for the greatest personal and professional development. Important but not immediate activities are those which produce long-term, sustainable benefits and include exercise, strategic planning, the development of relationships and professional education. Never let the things which matter most be placed in the backseat as compared to those that matter least.

You become who you drink coffee with. Associate only with positive, focused people who you can learn from and who will not drain your valuable energy with complaining and uninspiring attitudes. By developing relationships with those committed to constant improvement and the pursuit of the best that life has to offer, you will have plenty of company on your path to the top of whatever mountain you seek to climb.

Stephen Hawking, one of the great modern physicists of the world, is reported to have said that we are on a minor planet of a very average star located within the outer limits of one of a hundred thousand million galaxies. Are your problems really significant in light of this? You walk this Earth for but a short time. Why not become devoted to having only a wonderful experience. Why not dedicate yourself to leaving a powerful legacy to the world? Sit down now and write out a list of all that you have in your life. Start first with your health or your family - the things we often take for granted. Put down the country we live in and the food we eat. Do not stop until you have written down fifty items. Once every few days, go through this list - you will be uplifted and recognize the richness of your existence.

You must have a personal philosophy in life. This is simply a set of guiding principles which clearly state where you are going and where you want to be at the end of your life. A mission statement embodies your values. It is your personal lighthouse keeping you steadily on the course of your dreams. Over a period of one month, set a few hours aside to write down five or ten principles which will govern your life and which will keep you focused at all times. Examples might be to consistently serve others, to be a considerate citizen, to become highly wealthy or to serve as a powerful leader. Whatever the mission statement of your life, refine it and review it regularly. Then when something adverse happens or someone tries to pull you off course, you quickly and precisely return to your chosen path with the full knowledge that you are moving in the direction that you have selected.

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (21-30)

No one can insult or hurt you without your permission. One of the golden keys to happiness and great success is the way you interpret events which unfold before you. Highly successful people are master interpreters. People who have attained greatness have an ability which they have developed to interpret negative or disempowering events as positive challenges which will assist them in growing and moving even farther up the ladder of success. There are no negative experiences only experiences which aid in your development and toughen your character so that you may soar to new heights. There are no failures, only lessons.

Take a speed reading course. Reading is a powerful way to gain many years of experience from a few hours of study. For example, most biographies reflect the strategies and philosophies of great leaders or courageous individuals. Read them and model them. Speed reading will allow you to digest large quantities of material in relatively small periods of time.

Remember people's names and treat everyone well. This habit, along with enthusiasm, is one of the great success secrets. Everyone in this world wears an imaginary button that screams out "I WANT TO FEEL IMPORTANT AND APPRECIATED!". Leave people better than you found them and just watch your own life change.

Be soft as a flower when it comes to kindness but tough as thunder when it comes to principle. Be courteous and polite at all times but never be pushed around. Ensure that you are always treated with respect.

Do something each day to improve yourself and your life. Even a daily enhancement of only 1% will lead to a 30% improvement just four weeks from today.

Be truthful, patient, persevering, modest and generous. And be the kindest person you know.

Soak in a warm bath at the end of a long, productive day. Reward yourself for even the smallest of achievement. Take time out for renewal of your mind, body and spirit. Soon all your more important goals will be met and you will move to the next level of peak performance.

Learn the power of breathing and its relationship with your energy source. The mind is intimately connected with your breathing. For example, when the mind is agitated, your breathing becomes quick and shallow. When you are relaxed and focused, your breathing is deep and calm. By practicing deep, abdominal breathing, you will develop a calm, serene demeanor that will remain cool in the hottest of circumstances. Remember the rule of the Eastern mountain men: "to breathe properly is to live properly."

Recognize and cultivate the power of self-suggestion. It works and is an essential tool in maintaining peak performance. We are all performers in one way or another and it is particularly valuable to use such techniques of athletes and public figures for our own enhancement. If you want to become more enthusiastic, repeat "I am more enthusiastic today and am improving this trait daily". Repeat it over and over. Purchase a legal notepad and write out this mantra 500 times. Do it for three weeks with regular practice and feel that this quality is developing. Very soon it will come. This is a strategy that Indian sages have employed for thousands of years to aid their spiritual and mental development. Do not be discouraged if the results are not immediate, they will certainly develop. The spoken word is a powerful influencer of the mind.

Maintain a journal to measure your progress and to express your thoughts. Writing out not only your successes but your troubles is one of the world's most effective methods of erasing the worry habit, staying in optimum state and developing precision of thought. Your life is worth living so your life is worth recording.

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (31-40)

Stress is simply a response which you create in the interpretation of an event. You see the world – not as it is but as you are. Two people might find that a given event results in quite different responses. For example, an after dinner speech might strike fear into the heart of an inexperienced speaker while a strong orator views it as a wonderful opportunity to share his thoughts. Understanding that the perceived negative effects of an event or task may be mentally manipulated and conditioned towards the positive, will allow you to be a peak performer in all instances.

Read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It contains a wealth of wisdom and powerful insights into further developing your character and enhancing your personal relationships.

Become a committed learning CD user. Most personal-mastery programs and bestselling business books are now offered in this format. Listen to these inspirational materials on your way to work, whilst waiting in the line at a bank or while you wash dishes in the evening. Make your car a college on wheels and use the drive time to make knowledge your best friend. All down time can be very effectively used in this productive fashion. Use such opportunities to learn and continually expand your mind and its vast potential. All it takes is one big ideas to transform your life.

Try fasting one day every two weeks. During these fast days, drink fruit juice and eat fresh fruits only. You will feel more energetic, cleansed and alert. Fasting also has a salutary effect on your will-power as you are subverting the otherwise pressing impulses in your mind calling on you to eat more. And it will give your digestive system a much-needed break.

Keep a CD player at your office and listen to soft, soothing music throughout the day. Place pleasant scents and inspirational pictures in your workplace. By the magic of association, your work will become something you enjoy even more and arouse a very pleasant feeling within you. Budget your time on trips such that you can spend half an hour in the airport bookstore. They always contain the latest and best self-mastery books and tapes given that those who travel by air are of a group that finds value in these materials.

Read "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. And don't just read this little book once, read it over and over again. It contains an abundance of timeless wisdom on living a fuller and happier life.

Remember that forgiveness is a virtue that few develop, but one that is most important to maintaining peace of mind. Mark Twain wrote that forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. Practice forgiveness especially in those situations where it is seemingly difficult. By using your emotional forgiveness muscles more regularly, petty wrongs, remarks and slights will not touch you and nothing will penetrate your concentrated, serene mindset.

Empty your cup. A full cup cannot accept anything more. Similarly, a person who believes that he cannot learn anything else will stagnate quickly and not move to higher levels. A true sign of a secure, mature individual is someone who sees every opportunity as a chance to learn. Even the teachers have teachers.

The Two Minute Mind is an excellent exercise for developing concentration. Simply stare at the second hand on your wristwatch for two minutes and think about nothing else for that time. At first your mind will wander but after 21 days of practice, your attention will not waver during the routine. One of the greatest qualities a person can develop to ensure his success is the ability to focus for extended periods of time. Learn to build up your concentration muscles and no task will be too difficult for you.

Drink a cup of warm water before a speech. Ronald Reagan employed this strategy to ensure that he maintained his honey-smooth voice. Mastery of the art of public speaking is a noble goal. So dedicate yourself to it. You will be judged by the caliber of your communication skills.

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (41-50)

When you stand and meet someone, stand firm and steadfast. A telling sign of an unfocused, weak mind is constant fidgeting, shifting of the eyes and shallow breathing.

Act strong and you will be strong. Have courage and inspire others with your actions. But always be considerate.

Ask not what this world can give you but, rather, what you can give to this world. Make service an important goal in your life. It is a most fulfilling investment of time. Remember, in the twilight of your life, when all is said and done, the quality of your life boils down to the quality of your contribution to others. Leave a rich legacy for those around you to savor. Sustained happiness does not come from what you get but from what you give.

Once a week, rise at dawn. It is a magical time of day. Be still, go for a walk or simply listen to an old Ella Fitzgerald recording. Take a long, hot shower and do 100 pushups. Read one of the classics. You will feel alive and invigorated. Getting up early builds self-discipline and self-respect.

Your health is your wealth. Without excellent health, you have nothing. Make being in world-class physical condition your number one priority.

Master the art of public speaking. There are few natural speakers. One great trial lawyer stammered dreadfully but through courage and strength of conviction, he developed into a brilliant orator. Role model anyone you think is a highly effective, influential communicator. Visualize a picture of this person. Stand like him, smile like him, and talk like him. The results will startle you.

Seek out leadership speakers committed to character training and lifelong success. Make it a point to attend inspirational lectures each month to consistently renew the importance of personal growth in your mind. In a two hour seminar, you can learn powerful techniques and strategies that others have spent many years learning and refining. Never feel that you have no time for gathering new ideas, you are investing in yourself.

Read the wonderful book "Discovering Happiness" by Dennis Wholey. It will certainly open up new horizons for you in your quest for an optimal state of health and happiness.

To enhance your concentration, read a passage in a book you have never explored. Then try to recite it verbatim. Practice this for only 5 minutes a day and enjoy the results which follow after a few months of effort.

Try entering a 5 km running race and then a 10 km event. The adrenaline that flows from the experience of racing with several hundred other fitness-minded people is exhilarating. By constantly pushing the envelope of your capacity, your potential will quickly unfold. Remember, the body will give you only what you ask of it.

GIFTS YOU CAN GIVE YEAR ROUND

The Gift of Praise
Appropriate mention, right in front of the other
fellow, of superior qualities or of a
job or deeds well done.

The Gift of Consideration
Putting yourself in the other's shoes and
thus providing your genuine understanding
of his side of the case.

The Gift of Concession
Humbly saying at just the right point,
"I am sorry, you are right and I am wrong."

The Gift of Gratitude
Never forgetting to say "Thank You"
and never failing to mean it.

The Gift of Attention
When the other fellow speaks, listen attentively.
If his words are directed to you
personally, meet his eye squarely.

The Gift of Inspiration
Plant seeds of courage and action
in the other person's heart.

The Gift of Personal Presence
In sickness, in trouble, or in great joy,
there is nothing quite equal to your
personal expression of sympathy or
congratulations. Resolve to give these gifts
each day. You will be pleasantly surprised
at what you will receive in return.

Some Thoughts...

- Tears convey more than what words can ever say…

· In resolving conflict how you say it, is as important as what you say...

· To be kind is more important than to be right…sometimes what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens… have a wonderful day…

· Look out for one another’s interests not just your own… God expects you to make the move…

· Humility is not thinking less of you… it is thinking yourself less…

There are worse things in life

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was
astonished to see the bed was nicely made and
everything was neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the
centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new
boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so
nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him
too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and
motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad,
I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have
the kid and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42
isn't so old these days is it? ), and has no money,
really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our
relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends
as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own
way. He wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt
anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade
it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure
deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how
to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back
to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters " PTO".
Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet,
and read:

PS:
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the
neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than my report card
that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and
call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!
Your loving daughter,
Rosie

IMPORTANT ETIQUETTE GUIDELINES FOR AIR TRAVELERS

If you’re seeking a pleasant experience while flying there are certain guidelines you need to follow. Be mindful of your airport manners and lead by example to enjoy a smooth, hassle free flight.

Here are 9 essential rules for appropriate behaviour at the airport and during flights.

1. Be prepared to go through security
Don’t wait until you are on top of the conveyer belt to start to get ready. If you have a laptop, take it out of the case and put it in a separate bin. Put some identification on the top of your laptop. Move away as quickly as possibly from the conveyor when your items come off. Allow the people behind you the space and easy access to collect their items. Hopefully they will move along quickly also.

2. Boarding the Plane
Get to your seat and move in. Do not block the aisle, and do not stop to put your luggage above Remember to share. The foot space under your seat in front of you is yours, but the overhead is a shared communal area.

3. Mind your phone manners
Turn your phone off when asked by the flight attendants. Do not scream when you are allowed to use them. Everyone throughout the plane does not need to know the details of your phone conversation. Be considerate of the people around you.

4. Be conscious when using a laptop
Remember they do make noise. It can be annoying if you use your laptop or play noisy games. There is a sound control and laptops do vibrate and could bounce the seat in front of you. Children need games and toys to keep them content during the flight, but do not make them the noisiest ones they own. Nice quiet games and toys work too.

5. If you must recline…
When you hear those announcements that you are free to recline your seats and use your snack trays, just be gentle. You do not want to bounce around the person in front of you by quickly moving those trays up and down. Nor do you need to recline so fast or far that it is a tremendous inconvenience to the person behind you.

6. Be aware of those around you
When you get out of your seat during the flight, use your armrest to push yourself up or to get back into your seat. Do not grab the back of the seat in front of you. When you use the back of their seat, you are pulling them back, possibly waking them up from a nap and even grabbing their hair.

7. Watch Those Bags on Your Shoulder
When you are moving back the aisle getting on the plane, watch those bags you are carrying on your shoulder. They can be painful when you swing or turn and hit the person as you go by. If you duck quickly, you might just miss the flying bag. Stay alert and prepared to move quickly when one is coming your direction.

8. Remember the overhead bins are shared space
You do not have to run up and down the aisles assisting people trying to put their bags in the overhead compartments. But, if you are right there, help them out. It moves things along.

9. Wait Your Turn
When it is time to exit the plane, wait your turn. Do not come rushing and pushing from the back to get a few people ahead. Go seat-by-seat, row-by-row.

71 Things You Can Do

Most people aren't Warriors, and I'm fine with it. Most people do things that don't make sense, and I'm fine with it. I've learned to accept the non-sense that fills this world. (Part of being a Warrior is accepting that most other people are not Warriors, and accepting them.) Still, the point is that people do things that don't make sense. They whine, complain, and cry over problems they can easily change. They get depressed over problems they cause for themselves.

For example, lazy people often whine that they don't make more money. Selfish people complain that they don't have more friends. Many people sabotage all their romantic relationships and then complain that they don't have a lover.

Granted, sometimes when something bad happens to a person it's purely bad luck. For example, you could be sitting in your well-built home while reading the newspaper and a tornado could tear your home up.

However, usually when you don't like what's happening in your life, it's your own damn fault. It's your fault if you're fat, lazy, uneducated, lonely, etc.

In the following, I list 71 things that you can do to be more successful. You choose to do them or not. If you choose not to do these things, then you have no right to complain about your problems; your problems are your fault!

Stop watching television.
Stop eating fast food.
Stop eating pizza and fried foods.
Stop driving places that you could easily walk to.
Read at least 1 book a month.
Take classes in what interests you or your vocation.
Work enough to support yourself, and if needed get a new job or second job to make enough to support yourself. Never stick with a job that doesn't pay enough to support yourself no matter how much you work.
Pay off your debts and don't go in debt. You can pay off your debts if you avoid needless expenses, such as cable, overpriced clothes, impractical decorations, unhealthy snacks, jewelry, etcetera.
Don't buy a car on finance, and don't buy an expensive car if a cheaper one that works is available.
Wake up early, and get all your work done as quickly as possible. That includes household chores, as well as your employment.
Drink alcohol less or quit.
Do drugs less or quit.
Don't smoke cigarettes.
Don't eat foods with high fructose corn syrup.
Don't drink soda.
Don't eat sugary foods at all.
Don't drink more than 1 glass of juice per day.
Stand up straight and have good posture.
Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
Smile.
Be polite.
Keep your promises.
Wear a watch, if you can afford it.
Eat breakfast.
If you eat cereal at any time, choose your cereal based on healthiness not tastiness.
Exercise at least 3 days per week.
Walk often.
Always write with correct spelling and grammar.
Never speak worse about a person behind their back than you do to their face. (Feel free to say nicer things about a person behind their back than to their face.)
Don't gossip and don't have a big mouth.
Never judge other people harsher than you judge yourself.
Make New Years resolutions, but make one every day instead of every year.
Volunteer.
Forgive, but never forget.
Don't have skeletons in your closet.
Keep as few secrets as reasonably possible.
Despite the rule before this one, keep your friends' secrets.
Politely tell people that you will not betray your friends' trust, when you are asked about their secrets and such.
Volunteering (i.e. activism) is more important than voting. If you can do both, good for you. If you only have time for one, volunteer instead of voting. It makes more of a difference.
Privately question your own values.
Avoid questioning other people's values, especially in public.
Listen more than you talk.
Use a journal to count how many calories you consume per day.
Use a journal to count how many calories you burn per day.
If you want to lose weight, burn slightly more than you consume. If you want to gain weight, consume slightly more than you burn. If you are happy with your weight, try to burn the same amount as you consume.
Weigh yourself daily at the same time(s).
Write your daily weight down in a journal.
Never allow the police to search you, your car, or your belongings if you do not have something to hide.
Never tell other people that you think they or something they are doing is immoral or sinful.
Keep your moral values and religion to yourself. Use them to direct your own actions.
Ask people how they are often and listen to their answer.
Laugh at other people's jokes, but not your own.
Shower at least once per day.
Wash your hands, even if you aren't an employee.
Take care of the elderly, which includes spending time with them and talking to them.
Avoid going places where you need to be waited on.
Wait on yourself wherever possible.
Make your friends look good.
Avoid lying.
Don't pretend to be better than you are. Don't pretend to be more successful, popular, etcetera.
Treat other people as if they are better than they are. Treat them as if they are more successful, popular, etcetera.
Don't brag about your talents. Instead, surprise people with them when they just happen to be called upon.
Sit up straight.
Keep your house clean.
If you have either of them, keep your car and office clean.
Stretch daily. (I do Yoga most mornings.)
Dance.
Take dancing lessons if you could use improvement.
Ask other people (e.g. your friends, your co-workers, your boss, etc.) what their favorite book is, and read it.
Ask their favorite song or band, and listen to it.
Ask their favorite movie, and watch it.

Extras:

Don't be camera shy.
When your alarm goes off in the morning (if you use one), don't press snooze.
Make a budget and follow it.

Suggestions from visitors:

Say "I love you" often to the people you feel this way about.
Always turning off lights when leaving a room, unless of course there are others are in the room. For that matter, conserving any unnecessary electricity usage is key to the future of humanity.

How to win and influence People

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2008 TO YOU

Attitude defines success

Rise above criticism

LIFE IS A THEATER ~

Problem Solving Skills

Visualization As A Problem Solving Skill

Directing Attention As A Problem Solving Skill

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (1-10)

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (11-20)

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (21-30)

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (31-40)

The Success ManifestoT: 200 Powerful Ideas for an Extraordinary Life (41-50)

GIFTS YOU CAN GIVE YEAR ROUND

Some Thoughts...

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IMPORTANT ETIQUETTE GUIDELINES FOR AIR TRAVELERS

71 Things You Can Do

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