1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of
Helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
Reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
You think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
From
Her at that moment.
4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
Gender,
Religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
Inside,
We ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
Make
A big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
Want you to share yours with them.
9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
Has
Not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
Would
Be "meetings."
10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy
People who are not in them.
11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of
Its glories, and she decides to deliver a message to humanity, she will
NOT
Use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad
Hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
12. You should not confuse your career with your life.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not
A
Nice person.
14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
Seriously.
15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
Individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very
Often, that individual is crazy.
16. Your true friends love you, anyway.
17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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